Public Speaking and Communications - The Proper Handshake Introduction
84In creating your professional image, there is no one single item that sets the tone for your personal brand other than a proper hand shake. Your hand shake is the single most important tool in your communications tool box. A proper hand shake can smooth the rough waters of the business world and even open new doors of opportunity.
A proper handshake is more than just a greeting. It is also a message about your personality and sends a clear message about your self confidence and ability level. In business, a hand shake is a critical communications tool in making the right first impression.
A proper handshake is simple IF we take the time to understand the rules and practice. Research has shown that we are twice as likely to remember someone IF we shake their hand. What someone remembers about you for a lifetime may be determined by your first 3 second introduction.
Non-Verbal and Verbal Tapestry of Communications
Communicating non-verbally is the first step to verbal communications.
A proper hand shake is the single most important tool in your communications tool box to building a strong and professional and personal brand image.
The Business Handshake
Be Memorable
We are twice as likely to remember someone IF we shake their hand.
Be memorable, build your brand with a proper handshake.
10 Types of Handshakes
Handshake Movement
A proper handshake movement is two steps, extend your arm with your shoulder, then move with your elbow. Do not move your shoulder when you are moving your elbow. The movement is small and very focused.
The Perfect Handshake
Proper Handshake is Pivotal in American Business
Research shows that a good handshake improvesyour odds in getting a job.
Simple butcritical non-verbal communication skills such as knowing the proper handshake will allow you to sail through the roughwaters of job interviews.
A handshake that isless than perfect can undermine all your business efforts.
A proper handshake is pivotal in American business.
Learn the Rules of Proper Handshakes
Learning the rules and various nuances of handshakes will take you far in business and in life.
Know when not to shake hands. Know what handshakes are to be avoided. Know the timing of a proper handshake.
Practice the 3 simple steps to a proper handshake.
Proper Hand Shake is More Than Movement
The hand shake is more than movement. It is the intermixing of non-verbal cues with verbal communications. A proper hand shake sets the overall tone for a meeting, an introduction and clearly defines your personal brand.
While the art of handshaking does vary within cultures, in the United States the “rules” are pretty universal.
3 SIMPLE STEPS FOR PROPER HAND SHAKES
The key to the proper hand shake is to remember communications is intermixed with non-verbal communication ques. If we learn the proper ques, the entire communication process is improved. Often it is stated that "what is not said is the most important part of communications". You can destroy even great verbiage with inappropriate non-verbal signals.
1. Begin With Eye Contact Before You Extend Your Hand
Communications is a complicated tapestry of both non-verbal and verbal skills. Knowing the non-verbal tools is often more important than the verbal tools.
2. Verbally Introduce Yourself Before You Extend Your Hand
Dale Carnegie stated that IF you extend your hand without your personal introduction verbally, you will appear overly eager and nervous. Remember your hand shake is the pivotal point in building your personal brand - appearing nervous will forever tarnish your brand.
Right Hand Only - The hand shake is always initiated with the right hand. If the right hand is not available, gracefully explain you not able to shake hands at this time.
Confused about the timing about your introduction and extending your hand - watch successful leaders and learn from their timing and non-verbal behavior.
3. Use a Firm Grip and Be Brief
There are many types of hand shakes as the videos showcase. Briefly we will describe the typical mistakes made in offering a hand shake such as the "lady fingers" and the "forceful" grip. A proper hand shake must be firm and brief. Two to three short movements lasting no more than 1-2 seconds is our goal.
Other Tips for Understanding the Nuances of Hand Shakes
Remember to be Brief
Yes, we just stated that in step 3, however, I cannot over emphasize this point. Oftentimes, nervousness is shown by extending the hand shake beyond the 2 seconds. A hand shake that is not brief will most assuredly make your associate uncomfortable, leaving them forever with an unfavorable impression of you.
Shake From Your Elbow Not Your Shoulder
The movement for your hand shake must generate from the elbow not the shoulder. It is a hand shake - you are not a tin soldier!
Additionally, make sure your movement is correct. In reality, it is a two step movement, your shoulder moves your arm forward and then your elbow moves.
The very last video entitled "Awesome Hand Shakes" showcases in the first hand shake which they call "The Gentleman's Hand Shake" the use of both the shoulder and the elbow. Remember you want a focused movement. The shoulder contributes only for the extension not for the actual movement.
"Two Hand" Grip aka Politician Grip - Unless You are a Politician
The political realm here in the United States is denoted by kissing babies and the two handed hand shake. As a general rule, avoid the two handed hand shake. In your tool box for communications, on a rare occasion for an associate you know well and you are congratulating him/her, this hand shake may be appropriate and well received. Remember IF you don't have the relationship with the individual and you cannot generate the authentic warmth that belongs to this hand shake, leave this hand shake along with kissing babies to the politician. source: When to Go Hand in Hand
Culture Tip
When traveling overseas socially or for business, remember you are representing your country - the United States of America. It is incumbent upon you to learn the rules of the culture that you are traveling to and follow the appropriate customs.
Grandmother's slogan of When in Rome do as the Romans do is true!
Sanitize Your Hands
If your hands are dirty, wet or have just touched animals, be respectful of others and either sanitize your hands or gracefully explain why you are not able to shake hands.
For your health, sanitize your hands before and after drinking and eating. Teach your children to wash their hands before eating.
WHAT TO AVOID IN SHAKING HANDS
"Forceful" Grip Overpowering Hand Grip - Too Much Pressure
Remember our goal is to make our business associates comfortable. A forceful grip is not respectful and will be perceived as condescending.
"Fish Hand" Grip - Too Little Pressure
Men and women alike must always offer a firm hand shake. The fish hand shake or limp hand shake speaks volumes about your character, ability and business acumen.
"Lady Fingers" Grip
In business in the United States, as a female you are an equal and as such you must adhere to the rules of business which include a firm and full hand shake. Extending only your fingers may be appropriate in other settings other countries but this is expressly not acceptable in American business.
If you travel back in time, acting in a play or movie set in the Victorian era, this hand shake of "lady fingers" may be appropriate. Additionally, this hand shake may be appropriate in some parts of the world which brings me to our tip on world travel.
Hand Shake on Amazon
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Awesome Handshakes
Handshake Definition
hand·shake (hndshk)
n.1. The grasping of hands by two people, as in greeting or leave-taking.2. Computer Science An exchange of signals between two devices when communications begin in order to ensure synchronization.
source: thefreeonlinedictionary.com
Practice At Church Social Functions
Don't wait for the need to learn how to shake hands, practice with friends and family. Church is a wonderful venue to work on these three steps (1- eye contact, 2- verbal introduction, 3- brief, firm hand shake). Teach this skill to your children when they are young and watch their self-confidence grow.
Practice Can be Fun
As the "Awesome Handshake" video to the right showcases, practicing a handshake can be fun. While these hand shakes in the fun video are not proper in business, they do allow you to practice and gain your self-confidence.
Goal of the Proper Handshake
The goal of connecting with others is making them comfortable, showcasing your abilities and professionalism. The nuances of the handshake demonstrate your communication skills and management ability. Knowing when not to shake hands is just as important as the proper handshake.
No Conversation Intended - No Handshake
Do not shake hands simply to break an awkward moment and likewise IF you don't wish to have a conversation do not extend your hand.
Conversation Intended - Hands Are Full or Injured
Likewise, remember you can hold a conversation without a hand shake IF the circumstances for a handshake are clumsy or inconvenient. Remember our goal is to make the other party comfortable. Simply acknowledge your intent and appreciation of the conversation with a nod of your head and retain your hands by your side.
Status & Light House Effect for Your Personal Brand Image
Knowing how to attract and introduce yourself if critical in building your brand image. Here are a couple of tips to help navigate the rough waters of American business.
Tip on Status and Shaking Hands
Just as we always introduce the higher ranking person first, so too, we recognize the status of the individual in business settings. Be conscious of the status and with higher status business associates, let them make the first gesture. Looking eager and dejected is the one item you want to avoid. Smile and beam and wait for them to approach you. Remember you are not hunting for others, you are hunting for others to find you. Casually look around the room for a familiar face and go in that direction. Your goal is to always appear self-confident and continue to build that brand that everyone wants to be around.
Light House Effect and Commanding a Room for Your Personal Brand Image
Jackie Kennedy's father is said to have taught her to walk into a room and beam as a light house would in the center of darkness similar to a "light house". This is the correct way to command a room and to present your brand. Remember you are King or Queen of the room, command it, beam with joy and self-confidence. Approach others gracefully and with respect and it will be returned.
Doors of Opportunity Will Open
Developing your personal brand, maintaining a consistent image is critical in all walks of life. In business, your professional brand image starts and ends with a "proper handshake". It is a simple tool to use, easy to learn and will serve you and your family throughout your entire life.
The doors of opportunity exist even in today's uncertain global economic environment. Finding the right opportunity is completely dependent upon you. Building and maintaining your personal brand will provide doors of opportunity for you to walk through. Finding those doors is only possible through your efforts and your connections. To be memorable, you must shake hands. To be respected and sought after, you must keep your personal brand image consistent.
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#1 A Handshake Is a Critical Skill In Life
Our life is built upon a complicated network of personal connections. You will be judged by your handshake. Your handshake is the foundation upon which to build and maintain your personal brand and your professional image. A simple way to navigate the rough waters of business is learning about the proper handshake - know the elements, know the pitfalls, and practice.
Doors of opportunity will open to you if you add this simple tool to your communication tool box.
#2 There Is Only One Correct Handshake
There are many different types of handshakes, all of them are distinctive and yet only one type sets the tone for the brand and professional image you are creating. Even if your field is creative, a hand shake must speak to your self-confidence and the image you project. Perception is reality. A proper handshake comprises only three simple steps.
#3 Eye Contact and a Verbal Introduction Must Always Accompany the Handshake
We are twice as likely to be remembered IF we shake hands but what they remember may not be favorable if we don't properly introduce ourselves and make eye contact. The relationships we forge are very valuable, the first impression is the cornerstone. Make your hand shake complete by incorporating the proper handshake with the eye contact and a great verbal introduction.
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CommentsLoading...
Good advice which I wish I had gotten when I was young.
Terrific and important hub. First impressions mean everything,
I've been reading a small etiquette book lately but I never imagined there was so much behind a handshake. Other than hearing the normal,"He had a good, firm, solid handshake. Honest...." and feeling the limpless hands I have had to shake I didn't think of all the meanings! Thanks for this, Goldie!
I guess the devil is in the details. Who would have guessed that the handshake is so important and so easy to do correctly -- with this info. Thanks for a great Hub.
All that valuable info' without a mention of the historical origin? Tisk, tisk.
In England at least, if in doubt; don't handshake. If it feels right then do offer to shake someone's hand. It is a signal of thanks or respect. Don't put your hand over the top of the other person and try not to allow the other person to manoeuvre you into that position either. The person with their hand on top is trying to be superior; a hand shake should be a gesture of mutual respect and equality.
Excellent hub! You are so right about the handshake it is extremely important to give and receive the proper handshake. I do use the handshake as my cue. When meeting someone for the first time whether business, medical, or new friends the handshake tells me alot about the person before he/she even open their mouth.
Dale Carnegie, he wrote great guides for business and inspiration. It is nice to see his name mentioned again and in your post. Thanks!
Dale Carnegie was a true pioneer - instrumental for taking us all up a major step in professionalism.
You're right GmaGoldie. A good Handshake is really key in customer relations. And good eye contact is critical. At the business school where I taught, the students practiced handshaking as part of their interviewing skills class. It was amazing that so many young folks (and mature ones) had never been shown or told. Thanks for the great business tips here.
Nice Hub, sometimes the loudest words are unspoken. Just like a nice smile, a confident hand shake can work wonders!
Great topic. Shaking hands really humanizes contact and creates a feeling of honest communication. Voted up for a great hub!
PegCole 17,
You are brilliant to teach this in school. Such a necessary skill. Children don't learn this at home or even at church.
Multimastery,
You are right, the loudest words are unspoken - very well stated. I will quote you on that one - often. Thank you!
Dolores Monet,
You are right, the hand shake adds the human element and creates a bond of honesty. The warmth of the flesh combined with eye contact creates that connection that we must cherish now more than ever. The computers have pushed us apart, the hand shake is the gel that holds up together.
hi help me and my friend totaly need a hand shake soooooo help someone HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alice,
I am so happy you and a friend found it helpful.
I worked hard on this for a college class on communications that I taught.
The fundamentals seem simple when stated but yet we never state the fundamentals of that human contact.
Excellent Tutorial:
Dear GmaGoldie, yes you can hold a conversation if a handshake is not comfortable. In Japan the traditional bow-is-so-sweet...you will never miss a handshake.
Without eye contact no matter how good your handshake is, it's wasted. Thanks ever so.
always.
beatrice dupree
FTC Disclosure
The author is an adjunct faculty member specializing in Communications for a premier University in Midwestern United States and has no affiliation of any kind with any of the companies listed within this article. Additionally, she does not receive financial or service remuneration.
The author has a broad range of interests and frequently writes about communications, art, fitness, health and food safety. She is the inventor of the EZ Swimmer and President of American Son Products, Inc.
Notes of Appreciation
Photo Credits
hand shake photo courtesy of remaincomm.com
light house photo courtesy of clarke.cmich.edu
light house with water photo courtesy of bluewater.org
light house photo courtesy of jaredasdh.com
light house photo courtesy of web oregon.com
hand shake stain glass photo courtesy of discoveret.org
doors courtesy of windowspls.com
doors courtesy of spdoors.com
open door courtesy of harvest.cals.ncsu.edu
Sources
lmmartin Level 6 Commenter 2 years ago
Who knew? Not me. After years of receiving the "crush" aka as the "aren't I manly" shake, the sweaty "euw" shake, the 'dead limp fish" shake, and suffering tender hands due to rheumatoid arthritis, I choose not to shake hands. And no, I do not go about "graciously" explaining why I cannot. I don't want the first fact out of my mouth to be "excuse but I have this chronic auto-immune disease that leaves my hands too sore..." Nope. When someone does extend their hand, I reach forward and touch the back of the hand, not allowing the chance of a grasp. Seriously, this is great information, but surely our rules of conduct aren't quite so rigid. I guess I'll have to resign myself to failure, seeing as I can't manage the proper hand shake. Oh -- sigh.